Bigger, Better Cuss Words…


Chicago. Dec. 22 (AP) Bigger and better cuss words have been suggested by Dr. Burges Johnson, professor of English at Syracuse university, as one of the things this country needs. He told the executive club about it yesterday.

Profanity that was horrifying a few decades back Is now ridiculous in its innocuousness. Dr. Johnson said. Some of the stronger cuss words have been corrupted until now they lack all their original power and significance.

“Gramercy” “Gadzooks” and “Zounds” are some of the corruptions of what once was powerful profanity, he said. Even the words that remain have lost their full power through over-usage, and there have come into the language no new swear words to replace them.

Martian Chamber of Commerce Bulletin.

According to the description, an honest Chamber of Commerce bulletin from Mars would have to read:

“Settle on Mars, one of the first heavenly bodies to cool off after creation. We have practically no water, practically no oxygen in our atmosphere. The oxygen has gone to the rocks, and much of our country is covered with fine red dust, caused by the oxidation of our iron deposits.

“The dust doesn’t stay put, however, because we have winds of gale force almost all of the time, cause by the rapid changes in our temperature – up to 80 degrees at noontime and down to 100 degrees below zero at night.

“We have no twilight, and no dawn. Our daytime sky is no brighter than twilight on Earth, but there’s every chance of romance here. We have two nice moons, one which remains 132 hours above the horizon. Our nearer moon, Phobos, is as close to us as New York to Los Angeles on Earth. And, if you like eclipses, they are a dime a dozen up here. We have as many as 1,000 of them each year.

“Come, spend a year with us, You’ll have plenty of time to look around, because our year is 687 days. And girls – if you happen to weigh around 200 pounds, you’ll find life can be beautiful on Mars, because here, you’ll weight less than eighty.”

(excerpt from the The Courier-Journal, Louisville, Kentucky • Sun, Jul 23, 1939)

Sleuths drop Dick Tracy

SACRAMENTO (UPI) —State crime sleuths today folded up their comic pages and gave up hope of finding clues to the riddle of San Francisco’s Zodiac killer in the Dick Tracy cartoon series.

Agents of the State Bureau of Criminal Identification and Investigation began checking two months worth of Tracy comics on the theory they might find some parallels between the San Francisco killer of five persons and the “Scorpio” leader of the “Zodiac Gang ” being hunted down by Tracy.

“We gave the whole thing up,” Earl Bauer, senior analyst in the crime laboratory, said today. “We didn’t find any-thing that tied it up at all. We gave it up.”

“They’re just in two different worlds,” Bauer said of the real and fictitious Zodiacs.

He said the killer began using the Zodiac symbol before it appeared in the comic strip. Aug 17.

Zodiac, who has bragged of his crimes in cryptic notes to police and newspapers, shot a young couple to death in a lovers lane near Vallejo last Dec. 20, killed another girl and wounded her companion near Vallejo July 5, stabbed Hartnell and killed his coed companion Sept. 27, and shot a San Francisco cab driver to death Oct. 11.

Fake Robbery

PAYS BOY $1000 TO STAGE $50,000 FAKE GEM ROBBERY, CHARGE

by United Press

LONG BRANCH, N.J., Feb. 22. – Mrs. Sarah L. Robertson, who last Saturday night reported to the police that a dinner party at her bungalow had been held up and jewels valued at $50,000 taken from her, was arrested today, charged with conspiracy in causing the holdup.

A few hours earlier the robbery had been branded as a “fake” by a youth named John Baily who told the police he had been hires by Mrs/ Robertson to enter the bungalow and pretend to steal the jewels. In reality, he said, he got nothing but a bag filled with tissue paper. He said Mrs. Robertson paid him $1000 to stage the holdup.

FACTS ABOUT ARSENIC EATERS


“The eating of arsenic,” said a toxicologist, or student of poisons, “Is common In Styria. Tho Styrians say that arsenic makes one plump and comely, and gives one strength for great exertions, such as running or mountain-climbing.

“Styria, In Austria, gives the world vast quantities of arsenic; the manufacture of this drug is, indeed, the main Styrian industry. They who make arsenic eat it, as a rule; for they say that only the arsenic eater can withstand the arsenic fumes.

“These makers and eaters of the drug are comely. They have a blooming and clear color. They look much younger than they are.

“The foreman In a certain arsenic factory told me that In his boyhood, when he first came to that plant, he was advised to begin to eat arsenic lest his health suffer from the fumes. He did begin, and his first two or three small doses gave him a sharp pain, like a burn, in the stomach, and this pain was-followed by tremendous hunger and a violent, disagreeable excitement. But as his doses Increased In frequency and in size, their effect became pleasant. There was no longer pain or excitement; there was a ravenous appetite and a mood of joyous activity wherein the youth could do three men’s work.

“This chap, by the time he got to be thirty, was taking four grains of arsenic a day. He looked at thirty with his clear pink and white color, no more than twenty-three. He was robust as a blacksmith. But he said he would die at forty-five or so said all the Styrian arsenic caters died at that age.

“The drug Is a preservative, and in Styria, when graves are opened, bodies are found to be as fresh Fix or seven years after interment as on tho day they were lowered Into the earth.

“The arsenic eater like the opium eater, is a total abstainer. Alcohol In any form is abhorrent to him. If he tries to abandon the drug, his heart weakens, he has fainting fits, he takes to his bed.”